From Destruction to Service: A Journey of Purpose.

My destructive path began early, manifesting as a systematic breakdown of relationships and values that would define my adolescence and early adulthood. I began disrespecting family members—my mother, brothers, sisters, and extended family—while simultaneously dismissing any feedback or concern they expressed about my behavior.

During this period, I replaced consistent school attendance with criminal activity and violent outbursts. Substance use became my coping mechanism, as I regularly consumed marijuana and alcohol before and after these incidents. These substances provided what felt like a sense of wholeness, identity, and purpose that I had been desperately seeking since childhood.

This pattern of moral injury continued to resurface throughout my adult years, from age 20 to 30. I became callous and began objectifying anyone who challenged my insecurities or threatened my need for control. My mindset during this time was reactive—when others confronted me, I would revert to unprocessed childhood trauma and unresolved life events as justification for my behavior.

Living in constant survival mode became increasingly difficult, particularly as my family made repeated attempts to encourage me to seek rehabilitation. Despite recognizing that my behavior was wrong, I continued down this destructive path, convincing myself that I maintained control over my life. This denial led me to rationalize and minimize my abandonment issues, fear of rejection, deep-seated resentments, and self-sabotaging behaviors.

It ultimately took committing murder—taking Seth's life—and receiving a life sentence for me to finally confront my life's issues, unprocessed childhood trauma, the gravity of my actions, and the underlying factors that led to this tragedy. This devastating consequence fundamentally changed how I view my value and purpose in life.

Today, I reach out as a member of the MOVTT to those who have become silent in their pain. I want them to know that I have walked in their shoes and am here to listen to their stories. My message to them—and to anyone struggling—is simple: "It's never too late to change."

LeBaron Vaughn 

Member, MOVTT